another chapter closes, but doesn’t bring much closure

I don’t think much about the Fall of 2002. It’s hard to avoid the anniversary of September 11th, but that was just the beginning of the terror. A week later, the post office that handled all of my office mail was closed because of anthrax. People were getting sick (and dying) from the mail. We had to open envelopes wearing rubber gloves,* just to be safe. People were talking about dirty bombs, and I carried Cipro with me to work.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt on edge for months after these two events. Honestly, I don’t know if I ever relaxed enough for things to feel “back to normal.” Then, just over a year later, the shootings began. They were completely random: gender, race and age didn’t seem to matter. I tried to tell myself not to feel paranoid, but the fact was that people were being hunted. It was awful. I thought twice about taking a walk during my lunch break. I was nervous about pumping gas. My husband picked me up at the train station so I didn’t have to make the long walk to my car in a parking lot surrounded by trees.

Today that chapter is scheduled to close, but I don’t feel any closure. In fact, I don’t feel much of anything at all.

I try not to think about those events. I am so damn tired of feeling terrorized. That whole mentality of “go on with your everyday life so the terrorists don’t win” is just crap. You go on with life because it’s life. The memories of fear and anger are always inside somewhere.

I just choose to focus on happiness and optimism instead.

*Comic relief: When my coworker bought gloves for opening the mail, she bought the powdered kind. How are we supposed to look for white powder in the mail if we’re wearing gloves covered with white powder? It was just what we needed to break the tension and stress. We laughed until we had tears in our eyes. Ok, maybe you had to be there.

halloween fun

October has been a really fun month for us. We’ve been getting ready for Halloween since the first week, starting with decorating pumpkins at the beach. T’s mom brought these little pumpkins with her and Bella and my mom decorated them together. There’s a Daddy, Mommy, Bella and Chloe (the cat) pumpkin.

pumpkins

After we got home from the beach, we started working on ghosts. Some have pink polka dots and others have Hello Kitty stickers. There are a few with the traditional black and orange, too.

paper ghost garland

October was a really rainy month! One rare sunny day we went outside and collected leaves. Our neighborhood trees are finally starting to get big and we’ve got some really brilliant red leaves this year.

autumn blaze maple leaves

The week before Halloween is Fall Break for the Lincoln school system, so Bella’s preschool celebrated Halloween the week before. She brought home all kinds of spooky art: a q-tip skeleton, paper plate monster, triangle witch and an itsy bitsy spider with its own water spout. Her favorite activity was face painting. (There’s a pumpkin on her other cheek.)

preschool fun

We also did quite a few collages. You can see some of them over here. After I got tired of cutting shapes out of magazines, I bought some fancy pumpkin foam stickers for her.

pumpkin stickers

The most fun was Halloween itself. Bella was Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street. She wore her costume all day, visited with her friend Mason the Bat Man, handed out candy and trick or treated for the first time.

handmade abby cadabby costume

I can’t believe it’s November already. Time to put away the ghosts and bring out the turkeys!

our late bloomers

cucumber

For awhile I thought we were only going to get one tomato and one cucumber from our plants. Remember when I told you I was trying to manually pollinate them? Well, we’ve got almost 20 tomatoes and 6-7 cucumbers now. Just in time for the cold weather!

tomato

I was hoping we could harvest some more before the first frost, but the weatherman said next week we’ll have winter-like temperatures. Whaa? Cross your fingers for us! In the meantime, we’ve got some yummies to eat.

tomato

first day of preschool

bella preschool

Well, sort of. This was right before we went to the preschool open house. Basically, it was an hour for parents and kids to become acquainted with the teachers and each other.

On her actual first day I made the mistake of trying to take her picture outside. As soon as I opened the door, all she wanted to do was run around the yard. So much excitement and energy!

Also, she refuses to wear the backpack I made for her. Oh, well. She had tons of fun on her first day and came home exhausted. I hope she has just as much fun today!