You know what I’m talking about. The Inner Elmo. The la, la, la, la that runs through your head all day. You just want to make it stop. I can imagine that parents with a talking Elmo doll are probably on the brink of insanity. I think that’s maybe what happened to Christy.
We were at knitting one Saturday afternoon and I was talking about how much Bella LOVED Elmo. Christy said she had an Elmo to give me if I wanted one. It was in her closet. I told her thanks, but I don’t need an Elmo that continues to sing la, la, la, la after I turn Sesame Street off. She said no worries. This Elmo doesn’t work anymore. Oh. Well, in that case, cool! We’d love to have an Elmo!
When I brought him home a few weeks later and showed T he had two things to say: “Oh my god, Bella is going to LOVE that!” and “Oh my god, does it talk?” I told him that Elmo was broken and he said, “Cool!”
I showed him the doll and he commented on how heavy Elmo was. All that mechanical stuff inside made him kind of clunky. T suggested that I take it out. Huh? He reminded me that I can sew and that I could do anything I wanted with Elmo. Yes, knowing how to sew can sometimes be dangerous. It makes you fearless with regards to Opening. Up. Elmo.
5 Easy Steps for Silencing your Inner Elmo
- With a seam ripper, carefully open up the fabric around the battery box.
- The battery box is part of a bigger box, which is held in place by a heavy duty plastic tie. Cut the tie.
- The box is also connected to the mouth and hand by small wires. Cut the wires as close to the hand and mouth as possible.
- At this point, you might want to throw Elmo in the washer on the gentle cycle. I didn’t put him in the dryer, but rather let him air dry. (I’m not sure why I was so cavalier about ripping him apart and throwing him in the washer, but timid about putting him in the dryer.)
- When dry, stuff him with some FiberFil and sew him up!
I did all of this in the evening after Bella was in bed. I was afraid she’d get upset if she saw me cutting Elmo’s insides out. A few days after he was finished, Bella was freaking out about getting dressed because OH MY GOD PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME TAKE OFF MY ELMO PAJAMAS. I was in a hurry get out of the house, so I made a deal with her: take off the Elmo PJs and I’ll let you play with a real Elmo.
They have been best friends ever since.